A Guys Perfect Day

[pepperman]

6:45 Alarm.
7:00 Shower and massage.
7:30 Sex With girlfriend.
7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.
8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.
8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
12:30 Sex with girlfriend.
12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.
3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap.
6:15 Sex with girlfriend.
6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit.
7:30 Sh!t, shower, shave.
8:00 Watch CNN Live coverage of Bill Clinton's resignation. Hillary and Al Gore are indicted in the same scandal (which involves graphic pictures and large farm animals).
9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero
10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries without girlfriend knowing about it.
11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight Sex with girlfriend. Sleep

 

[Iszi]

Well, I guess we can't blame ya for wanting that "fishing trip" at 3:30, or the foreign women at 10:30, when sex with your girlfriend only lasts 15 minutes every time!

 

[MrScalia]

whats up the two 20 min sh!ts.... 20 mins cuze shave and shower don't take 10 mins.

when is it you get a headache from drinking Heinekens

 

[Frogman]

when is it you get a headache from drinking Heinekens

When you drink way too many of them in one sitting? Dunno, tell us.

 

[MrScalia]

When you drink way too many of them in one sitting? Dunno, tell us.

I really never drank more than 1-3 of them.... I used to get them free from a Bud Driver all the time

I guess I'm a Coors type for ever

 

[Conti94]

Sounds like a good day, fifteen minutes with the girlfriend, an hour with the foreign chicks, ok.