Dear Tech Support:

[Joeychgo]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and, now monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0

Please help!


Thanks,

A Troubled User


______________________________________



REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.


Best of luck,


Tech Support

 

[Katshot]

That's GREAT!!! ROFL!!!!

 

[mespock]

:bowrofl:

 

[bucketthead]

:Beer lmfao good one

 

[Conti94]

LMAO! :biggrin:

 

[codewize]

Yup, and that's life LOL :zgreenbou

 

[Randeaux]

Flatline---"CLEAR!"--- KA-CHUNK!----"360!CLEAR!"----KA-CHUNK!
"Time;"--"0319"---"Cause of death, see computer screen."
"Poor, fat b@$+ard, never had a chance......better call next of kin." :gr_hail:

 

[pepperman]

Lol.

 

[MonsterMark]

Or do as I do and run Mistress 10.0 simultaneously with Wife 1.0. That way, when Wife 1.0 crashes, you can always upload and run Mistress 10.0. It is a much newer program, features full utilities, including bitch blocker and has a self-repairing nag/nag utility that makes you forget all about the crashes your experienceing in Wife 1.0. And the bonus is, with Mistress 10.0, you can also install Viagra 8.0. You won't need it to run Mistress 10.0, but it comes in handy when Wife 1.0 takes over your utilities file and crashes your hard drive. :zgreenbou

:Beer
Try and top that one, closet comedians.

 

[K2K]

Haha

 

[codewize]

Very smooth. I'm impressed.

Or do as I do and run Mistress 10.0 simultaneously with Wife 1.0. That way, when Wife 1.0 crashes, you can always upload and run Mistress 10.0. It is a much newer program, features full utilities, including bitch blocker and has a self-repairing nag/nag utility that makes you forget all about the crashes your experienceing in Wife 1.0. And the bonus is, with Mistress 10.0, you can also install Viagra 8.0. You won't need it to run Mistress 10.0, but it comes in handy when Wife 1.0 takes over your utilities file and crashes your hard drive. :zgreenbou

:Beer
Try and top that one, closet comedians.

 

[mach8]

Dear Tech Support,

Thank god I've found a site for the wife OS.

My system keeps ignoring my commands since Wife 1.0 performed an automatic update to Wife 1.0 ver 1200 SE. This update has started a new application, Sim In Law, which is monitering system usage and causing many glitches. I now get a blue screen of death when attempting to run Girl Watch, Pimp My Ride or Night out. It says something about conflicts with the Basic Input Truth CHecking routine.

The three TSR programs spawned by the child prcessing utility have consumed all my system resources stopping me from running many applications I enjoy. What can be done !






Dear User,

I'm sorry you are experiencing troubles with our product. Many older applications are no longer compatible with Wife 1.2 ver1200 SE.

It is suggested that you take our Effective Alternative Tasking Special High Intensity Training offered at our main web site.

It would also help to upgrade your system. Betterjob 7.1 and Nuride ver 3 are good starting points.

I hope this corrects the minor problems you have been experiencing. Look for Wife 2.0 which will be comming your way in 2005.