Dog One-Liners
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. --Anonymous
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. --Ann Landers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. -- Will Rogers
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. -- Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -- Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -- Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. -- M. Facklam
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go
to heaven, and very, very few persons. -- James Thurber
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. -- Robert Benchley
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. -- Rita Rudner
And nobody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -- Franklin P. Jones
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. -- Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. -- Joe Weinstein
Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -- Groucho Marx
Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery
store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! -- Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. – Anon.
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. --Anonymous
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. --Ann Landers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. -- Will Rogers
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. -- Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -- Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -- Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. -- M. Facklam
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go
to heaven, and very, very few persons. -- James Thurber
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. -- Robert Benchley
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. -- Rita Rudner
And nobody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -- Franklin P. Jones
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. -- Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. -- Joe Weinstein
Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -- Groucho Marx
Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery
store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! -- Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. – Anon.
