George Carlin is a Bad American

[fossten]

George Carlin Speaks Out...

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.
I am George Carlin.

I like big cars, big hooters, and big paychecks.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of the problem and not the solution.

I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex for both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United States.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, just leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality.

I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut up already.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation of the world for the next four years.

I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.

I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.
I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

We need our country back!

 

[TheDude]

Great post, Carlin is great and If you like him then there's still some hope... Did you know he's a atheist and doesn't think Highly of George W. Bush?

 

[MonsterMark]

I'm still thinking about this one.

"I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason."

 

[fossten]

Great post, Carlin is great and If you like him then there's still some hope... Did you know he's a atheist and doesn't think Highly of George W. Bush?

What's your point, instigator? You don't have to be religious nor do you have to approve of Bush in order to be a good American. Nobody's perfect.

 

[pepperman]

Carlin rocks.

 

[Calabrio]

There is NO way that Carlin wrote that piece.

But to confirm it, I double checked SNOPES.COM

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/carlin.asp

Just about any unsourced list of witty observations about our politics and social mores gets credited to humorist George Carlin these days, even when it doesn't really sound like anything he would write. Carlin may sometimes use the format of stringing together a few dozen pithy comments about a wide variety of topical subjects, but the tone of his humor is nothing like this reactionary piece. If any doubt remained, Carlin himself swept it away by announcing on his web site that he is not the author of the
article.

If not Carlin, then who did write it? This piece has also been credited to a number of decidedly conservative, outspoken media figures, such as rock star Ted Nugent, talk radio host Rush Limbaugh, and other comedians, such as Denis Leary, but the even if the article might seem to echo the political opinions of these men, it doesn't quite match any of them, nor does the language used sound quite right for any of these figures. (Leary, like Carlin, has been credited with creating some other Internet favorites, such as a vituperative discourse on e-mail chain letters and the "Are You Man Enough?" essay.)

The essay quoted at the head of this page appeared in the FreeRepublic.com on-line forum back in September 2000 under the title "I Am a Bad Republican" (picking up title changes and additions since then as it was forwarded around the Internet), and the person who posted it there has taken credit for it in a another message in that same forum, stating that he wrote it in response to list sent to him by a Democrat friend about how to be a "good Republican."

 

[fossten]

I stand corrected. I got it off a joke website anyway. I guess the joke's on me.

 

[Calabrio]

I stand corrected. I got it off a joke website anyway. I guess the joke's on me.

That real treat is that Deville just agreed with a post from FreeRepublic originally titled "I am a Bad Republican" wholeheartedly. There is hope for him.

 

[TheDude]

What's your point, instigator? You don't have to be religious nor do you have to approve of Bush in order to be a good American. Nobody's perfect.

Put away your claws.... I was saying exactly what you just said. 'You don't have to be religious or love any certain president to be a good American.' And I agree with you.

 

[TheDude]

That real treat is that Deville just agreed with a post from FreeRepublic originally titled "I am a Bad Republican" wholeheartedly. There is hope for him.

Though I do agree with the majority of the quotes stated, I was just happy to see a conservative like Fossten be alright with someone like George Carlin.