Horror Stories

raVeneyes

Dedicated LVC Member
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Gloucester, NJ
Most of you folks just met me, but Geno and Matt both know me well. I live across the street from Geno and we've been friends ever since he offered to help me swap the fuel pump on the truck.

Matt met me the day he had the NOS installed on his car. Little known fact, Geno hates wiring (amongst other things, but that wasn't on his list). I love wiring...I love anything technical and geeky, and since NOS requires a bit of wiring to install I went on over to help.

Now this was a bit of a rush job...the NOS had to be installed the same day Matt brought down the car, so everyone is counting on me to get the system's power routed through the maze that is a Lincoln Mark VIII's engine bay and interior in a couple of hours. The wiring is simple enough...power from the battery, to the master arm switch, to the trigger switch, to the celanoids. No biggie. Geno thought he'd be funny and make it a challenge by adding a bottle opener and heater. Still no biggie, master arm switch just now has to carry more load and distribute it to three things instead of one.

We wanted this to be a nice looking install, so Geno and I decided to ditch the ugly toggle that came with the kit and go down to RadioShack to pick up a nice one. I rummaged through the bins and found one marked with the appropriate load limits and poles. The install went easy enough, even with the car's owner looking on forlornly as his interior was disassembled and re-assembled. Finally we're ready to test...and I'm ahead of projected schedule and feeling pretty good about myself.

Matt hops in and clicks the trigger a couple of times to test the relay...then we test the bottle opener and heater. The bottle opener is having some problems so I ask Matt to do some switch flipping while I look at the works and test it with my volt meter.

Matt says suddenly "The switch won't flip"
"Which one? The toggle for the bottle?"
"No, the Master arm switch...it's stuck...and it's a little warm"

Good thing my first instincts are usually to head towards a problem.

I get to the back corner of the window and start to see white smoke coming from the dash and vents...not good...don't want a $30K car to go up in Geno's driveway...nope nope nope...not good at all.

I go to the front (this is a good reason to leave your hoods up while testing stuff ladies and gents) and pull the battery, which averts a natural disaster of Mark VIII proportions.

Turns out the new toggle from Radio shack had a ground fault in it...and I would end up spending the next two hours re-doing 90% of what I had just finished.

What install horrors have you guys gone through?
 
The worst thing (and most stupid) thing I've ever done was when I was about 17 I had sold my grand marquis and was removing my stereo from it. I had a 4 gauge power wire going from the battery to the trunk. I was in a hurry so I started cutting it in different sections so that I didn't have to remove the interior peices to get it all out. Well, I cut one end by the front fender and stupid me forgot the remove the cable from the battery, the cable grounded on the fender and the insulation on the cable went up in a blaze real quick. Luckily it didn't do much damage because it was mostly tucked in the fender well.
 
Installing a MAF system on the VII...

For some reason it wasn't working, so I was redoing all the wiring, and I bought this crap from Walmart. It was like vinyl paint specifically for wiring, I thought it was a neat idea, so I tried it out.

Well, I soldered the MAF wires and did it all up, painted this vinyl stuff on it and started the car... Still having problems... Turns out the guy who sold me the computer didn't know what the hell he was talking about and sold me a speed density one. Well, I hooked the MAP sensor vacuum back up (with a MAF system, the MAP acts as a BAP, you can look it all up if you're more curious) and started driving. Well, about 7 blocks from there, I smelled burning. Then as soon as I could say "Oh damn, I'm in a world of trouble", the car shuts off hard core, and a massive amount of smoke pours out from the kick panel...

The wires melted. All of them. It looked like a wierd new form of taffy. Ended up taking the whole dash apart (The VII folks know how much of a pain in the ass that is), tracing the KAPWR lead throughout the car, (BTW, thanks to Ford for making multiple BLK/ORG wires) and finally replacing 5 fusible links and disconnecting the MAF sensor. Turns out the vinyl paint was garbage, and the wires worked their way though and contacted the metal on the fender, melted the vinyl TO the fender so it stayed there, and proceeded to melt the wires from the computer harness back.
 
I recently installed an RS 3.5 in my gf's chrysler sebring convertible. When i was hooking it up i had two constant wires under the dash and one was 18ga. Well with the new satellite relay pack you can no longer tell which relay is getting which constant power. I happened to hook up the the convertible top motor in through the smaller wire. Well i am demonstrating a job well done to everyone and they are all watching, the top goes back and the whole thing shuts down midway in the air. Ignition fuses blow, constant fuses on my relay pack, everything and it all tucked behind the radio. The next four hours are donated to repairing the remote start system. Along with complete embarassment, i get to spend the evening in the cold. Did i mention embarassment.

Big Joe
 
Where to start?

For 4 years I was a HMMWV mech, and let me tell you, the USMC has some crappy trucks, I cant tell you how many Glowplugs and controllers went bad. But some memories come to mind.... I was installing valve guide seals in my 88 Monte Carlo SS, had the key on to listen to the radio, well I had the fuel line out of the carb, and somehow I managed to disconnect the electronic choke and.....Poof, Im watching my car burn! Well, Thanks to my ninja-like reactions, and the fact that the man upstairs has a place in his heart for morons, nothing was too burnt, but boy was I jittery for a few hours. Then, there was the time I was wiring up my fuel pump on my 66 Mustang, switch was defective and the wiring burnt thru the carpet. OUCH. :give
 

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