Please help me understand why this is funny

[barry2952]

A Christian friend sent this to me. She's also the one that sends me all the Clinton bashing jokes.

Please explain to me why this is funny.

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.

At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!..."

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light.

"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke:

"Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen. "

 

[fossten]

LOL that was hilarious.

 

[barry2952]

Why?

 

[fossten]

The joke partially illustrates the hardened heart of the stubborn atheist who, when CONFRONTED with God HIMSELF and unmistakeable evidence that his belief system has been dead wrong, still finds an excuse not to believe, yet still asks for assistance anyway.

Note that the action God takes by 'turning the bear into a Christian' is only a humorous interpretation of what someone else thinks God might do in that situation.

So God grants the request anyway, but not in the way the atheist wants Him to (and justly so, since the atheist effectively refused God's offer to join the ranks of Christians), which also illustrates the UNKNOWABLE characteristic of God, found in the Bible where He says "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

The humor is found in the irony that the bear still remains a bear through and through, but now has added to his characteristics an innate appreciation of God's provision for his food, and appropriately thanks God for it in accordance with the Lord's Prayer.

The parallel is interesting when you think about it. Christians are not automatically holy just because they have repented and accepted God's gift of salvation. Far from it. They are still human and imperfect through and through. But now they have a relationship with God, and can attempt to please Him by following His commands to become holy and seek a relationship with God.

 

[FreeFaller]

Kinda funny...

Because of Irony...not religion.

 

[JMiles_T]

The joke partially illustrates the hardened heart of the stubborn atheist who, when CONFRONTED with God HIMSELF and unmistakeable evidence that his belief system has been dead wrong, still finds an excuse not to believe, yet still asks for assistance anyway...

Well put!

 

[barry2952]

I'm sorry, I still don't see the humor. Do you find it funny that God is portrayed as vengeful? Or would that be spiteful?

 

[TheDude]

To the SchoolZone.... I don't think anyone has been 'Confronted with God'. At least I've never heard anyone say something along the lines of "God came down and spoke to me directly." At least not from a sane person.

 

[FreeFaller]

I think it's funny cause the guy got *owned* . Not because I believe one way or the other.

Heck, I've heard funny jokes about leprechauns. Doesn't mean I'm gonna argue about pots of gold and rainbows...

 

[fossten]

To the SchoolZone.... I don't think anyone has been 'Confronted with God'. At least I've never heard anyone say something along the lines of "God came down and spoke to me directly." At least not from a sane person.

Wrong. There are lots of instances in the Bible where God spoke directly to people. That He doesn't speak directly to people these days is irrelevant.

 

[Calabrio]

Why is God vengeful? A bear has to eat. And maybe it had a few cubs to feed too.

 

[TheDude]

Wrong. There are lots of instances in the Bible where God spoke directly to people. That He doesn't speak directly to people these days is irrelevant.

Yes, I know, I've read the Bible, I was speaking of modern times, not thousands of years ago. I don't see it as irrelevant.

 

[fossten]

I'm sorry, I still don't see the humor. Do you find it funny that God is portrayed as vengeful? Or would that be spiteful?

Barry, I've already pointed out the humor in this. I don't know how else to explain God to you.

Psalm 14:1 says, "The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good. "

Hebrews 10:30 - "For we know him that hath said, Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people. "

Romans 12:19 - "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. "

Ezekiel 25:17 - "And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them. "

Micah 5:15 - "And I will execute vengeance in anger and fury upon the heathen, such as they have not heard. "

Nahum 1:2 - "God is jealous, and the LORD revengeth; the LORD revengeth, and is furious; the LORD will take vengeance on his adversaries, and he reserveth wrath for his enemies. "

Romans 3:5 - "But if our unrighteousness commend the righteousness of God, what shall we say? Is God unrighteous who taketh vengeance? (I speak as a man) "

2 Thessalonians 1:8 - "In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ: "

 

[fossten]

Yes, I know, I've read the Bible, I was speaking of modern times, not thousands of years ago. I don't see it as irrelevant.

The reality is that each and every one of us will be confronted by God one day. At that time we must give an account of our individual lives to Him and stand in Judgment. Those who don't believe in that will be surprised and dismayed when it happens.

It won't be funny.

“It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the Judgment” (Heb. 9:27)

 

[MonsterMark]

Do you find it funny that God is portrayed as vengeful?

How is that being vengeful. Isn't every being inhabiting this earth a creature of God?

Or would that be spiteful?

It would be spiteful if that person had never been offered a chance to make peace with God. It is spiteful that the atheist turns to God only in need.

 

[fossten]

How is that being vengeful. Isn't every being inhabiting this earth a creature of God?

It would be spiteful if that person had never been offered a chance to make peace with God. It is spiteful that the atheist turns to God only in need.

Nice addendum.

By the way, if you read the Bible, you will see that God has already made the first move to meet us more than halfway. It's our responsibility to meet Him on His terms, not the other way around. He doesn't have to answer to anyone or anything about His ways.

 

[TheDude]

The reality is that each and every one of us will be confronted by God one day. At that time we must give an account of our individual lives to Him and stand in Judgment. Those who don't believe in that will be surprised and dismayed when it happens.

It won't be funny.

“It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the Judgment” (Heb. 9:27)

You could be right, you could be wrong, no one will know for sure until we're dead.

Not to get off topic, but would like your opinion.

Take your average everyday atheist, lets say this 'guy' is a decent person, is helpful to people in need, doesn't break the law and in general a good person. He just doesn't believe in God and doesn't believe that you need to believe in God to be a good person.

Would this person upon death be sent to heaven or hell?

 

[fossten]

You could be right, you could be wrong, no one will know for sure until we're dead.

Not to get off topic, but would like your opinion.

Take your average everyday atheist, lets say this 'guy' is a decent person, is helpful to people in need, doesn't break the law and in general a good person. He just doesn't believe in God and doesn't believe that you need to believe in God to be a good person.

Would this person upon death be sent to heaven or hell?

I'll let the Bible answer that.

Romans 1:18-20 - "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;

Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them.

For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: "

Isaiah 64:6 - " But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away."

Romans 3:10 - "As it is written, there is none righteous, no, not one:"

Romans 3:23 - "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God."

Romans 6:23 - "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."


Revelation 20:11-15 - "And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them.

And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.

And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works.

And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death.

And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire."

Ephesians 2:8-9 - "For by grace are ye saved through faith, and that not of yourselves: It is the gift of God; not of works, lest any man should boast."

Titus 3:5 - "Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy he saved us;"

 

[TheDude]

I was hoping for your personal opinion... Once again, I have read the Bible... Unfortunately I found in inconclusive to this aspect.

 

[fossten]

I was hoping for your personal opinion... Once again, I have read the Bible... Unfortunately I found in inconclusive to this aspect.

Nothing personal, but if you found the above passages to be inconclusive, then you either don't believe the Bible, or you are in massive denial.

 

[TheDude]

Nothing personal, but if you found the above passages to be inconclusive, then you either don't believe the Bible, or you are in massive denial.

I do not believe in the Bible as being an accurate account of God's doing, I don't think I ever said I did. The reason I found it to be inconclusive in this sense (the question I asked of you), if God is a kind and forgiving 'father figure' as portrayed, how could God condemn a good man to an eternity of punishment? Doesn't seem right that an evil man who has committed indescribable crimes could he let into Heaven if he repented and accepted God, but a good and just man would burn in hell if he didn't. I just can't see a kind, forgiving God doing so.

 

[fossten]

I do not believe in the Bible as being an accurate account of God's doing, I don't think I ever said I did. The reason I found it to be inconclusive in this sense (the question I asked of you), if God is a kind and forgiving 'father figure' as portrayed, how could God condemn a good man to an eternity of punishment?

You must have missed Isaiah 64:6, listed above.

What you call 'good' doesn't even begin to measure up to God's standards. What you just did was give a straw man example comparing one human to another. The logical flaw in your example is that you ignore the fact that God sees all of us as sinners and lawbreakers. For you to differentiate between one level of sin and another is not your place. We must atone for our own sins, and God's judgment MUST be satisfied before His love can be applied. Besides, God already showed "His love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) He can't be a 'forgiving father figure' to people who aren't His children.

Hebrews 12:7-9 - "If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?"

Doesn't seem right that an evil man who has committed indescribable crimes could he let into Heaven if he repented and accepted God, but a good and just man would burn in hell if he didn't. I just can't see a kind, forgiving God doing so.

I can't help that you disagree with the Bible. That's between you and God. I don't need to tell you what I think in these matters. All I have to do is show you what God's word says. The rest is up to you.

Luke 23:39-43 - "And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us.

But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation?

And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.

And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.

And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise."

Proverbs 14:12 - "There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death."

 

[TheDude]

I can't help that you disagree with the Bible. That's between you and God. I don't need to tell you what I think in these matters. All I have to do is show you what God's word says. The rest is up to you.

It's not disagreement, it's contradiction... Lets look at a couple of the 10 Commandments.

1)"I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt..."
The belief in the existence of God, that God exists for all time, that God is the sole creator of all that exists, that God determines the course of events in this world. This is the foundation of Judaism. To turn from these beliefs is to deny God and the essence of Judaism. (end)

Seems to me like only one of Jewish faith can be one with God.

2)"You shall have no other gods besides Me...Do not make a sculpted image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above..."
One is required to believe in God and God alone. This prohibits belief in or worship of any additional deities, gods, spirits or incarnations.To deny the uniqueness of God, is to deny all that is written in the Torah. (2)
It is also a prohibition against making or possessing objects that one or other may bow down to or serve such as crucifixes, and any forms of paintings or artistic representations of God. (3)
One must not bow down to or serve any being or object but God. (4)
One is prohibited from making sculpture of human beings even for the fine arts. (5) (end)

Um, I guess all those sculptures of Jesus & crucifixes found in churches is a BIG no no in God's eye.

 

[fossten]

It's not disagreement, it's contradiction... Lets look at a couple of the 10 Commandments.

1)"I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt..."
The belief in the existence of God, that God exists for all time, that God is the sole creator of all that exists, that God determines the course of events in this world. This is the foundation of Judaism. To turn from these beliefs is to deny God and the essence of Judaism. (end)

Seems to me like only one of Jewish faith can be one with God.

2)"You shall have no other gods besides Me...Do not make a sculpted image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above..."
One is required to believe in God and God alone. This prohibits belief in or worship of any additional deities, gods, spirits or incarnations.To deny the uniqueness of God, is to deny all that is written in the Torah. (2)
It is also a prohibition against making or possessing objects that one or other may bow down to or serve such as crucifixes, and any forms of paintings or artistic representations of God. (3)
One must not bow down to or serve any being or object but God. (4)
One is prohibited from making sculpture of human beings even for the fine arts. (5) (end)

Um, I guess all those sculptures of Jesus & crucifixes found in churches is a BIG no no in God's eye.

What's your point?

 

[FreeFaller]

Point is the Bible is flawed. It was written by men, who are by virtue, flawed. Even though it was born of divine inspiration man can only understand his current world. Thus the whole "earth is the center of the universe" hooplah. As man's understanding of his world and his faith changes so too does his understanding of the Rules that God has set forth.

I'm not attacking anybody's faith here...just trying to understand myself. These are my thoughts.