fossten
Dedicated LVC Member
RUSH: I have been thinking about this global warming business. You know, we here at the EIB Network are pondering the sale of carbon offsets to any of you who are consumed with guilt over the amount of pollution like the amount you exhale. The Supreme Court yesterday actually said that what we all exhale, CO2, is a pollutant, and I'm here to tell you that it is not. CO2 is not a pollutant. There's no difference in the CO2 that you exhale and what comes out of your SUV or your car or what have you, but it's now a pollutant, and Algore has popularized this whole concept of carbon offsets, so specifically he will not have to reduce any of his consumption of power or usage of energy. "No, no. I'm investing in carbon offsets. I'm investing in a company (which I own, by the way)," he says, "and we go out there and we plant trees, and we invest in carbon neutral businesses and so forth." This gave me an idea. We here at the EIB Network are always on the cutting edge of societal evolution and a number of other things, including technology.
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This carbon offset business got me to thinking. It's a brand-new profit center possibility for us here at the EIB Network to play off on so many people's guilt and the fact they think they're committing sin out there simply by being alive and destroying the planet, so I came up with an idea. If Algore can not reduce his carbon footprint, if Algore will not have to reduce by an iota the amount of energy he uses, by simply buying carbon offsets, then why can't we expand the whole theory, the whole concept?
We here at EIB Network are examining the possibility of selling carbon offsets to the entire United States, the entire United States government -- and in the process of selling carbon offices to the entire government, the United States will not have to make one change, will not have to reduce any of its pollutants. It will not have to reduce any of its greenhouse gas emissions, will not have to reduce any of its energy use, because we are going to sell carbon offsets to the government for who knows how many billions they will pay, and then people all over the world will plant trees and do other things to allow us, the United States, not to have to reduce any of our greenhouse gases. It's a perfect way to exempt ourselves forever from Kyoto. If Gore and other individuals -- like Governor Schwarzenegger. He's registered his private jet out there with a company, and he doesn't have to reduce the amount of time he flies in a jet because some company out there is planting trees every time for every hour he flies, ostensibly.
Well, why can't we at EIB just do this for the whole country? Just sell carbon offsets for virtually everybody so that nobody in the country has to reduce anything. I mean if it works for one individual, why wouldn't it work for everybody? Why wouldn't it work for the country? Why don't all of us buy carbon offsets? I will sell them to you and to anybody else, and you can continue to make all of the energy use you want, without guilt and without fear. You pay us. It's going to be a nominal charge because, as you know, the greater the volume, the lower price has to be, sort of like taxes. The more taxpayers, the lower of rates have to be on everybody in order to get more money. So I will not charge exorbitant fees for people, when we sell the carbon offsets, and thereby the whole country will be exempt. (interruption)
What do you mean, Enron? What does the word "Enron" mean anything to me? What are you talking about? What's Enron got to do...? (interruption) I think this is a brilliant idea. This is a brilliant idea! (laughing) You know something? The whole thing is, I could get out of the radio business. In one day's worth of sales of carbon offsets for the whole country, I could be playing golf 24/7, thirty-six holes a day. (interruption) I don't plant the trees! I'm not going to do that. I'm going to let other people. I'll let Uganda do that. I will let South Africa do that. I'll let 'em do that in Bosnia, and if there's some companies in America that we feel are valid to invest in, fine. We'll let them plant the trees, too. The point is here, folks, that if you or I or Algore or Governor Schwarzenegger or anybody else can go out and simply invest money in the so-called carbon offset program and in the process, not have to reduce your energy usage at all -- if it's good for individuals, why can't we exempt the entire United States from this imbroglio by having everybody here be able to do this?
Think of the market that exists here. Think of the guilt that we could assuage, and think of the good that we could do for burgeoning Third World countries. There'll be all this investment money going to them, and all they have to do is plant trees. Just plant trees, or start up a company that says they're going to invest in pills that will make cows not expel methane when they expel. We're working on this. I probably should not have made this public, because now I've automatically created a bunch of competitors. Snerdley says, "You ever heard of Enron?" Yeah. So what's that mean? "Well, it's fraud. It's first-rate fraud." I don't care if it's fraud. It's already started. It's already happening out there. The business has been established. The carbon offset business is burgeoning.
***
This carbon offset business got me to thinking. It's a brand-new profit center possibility for us here at the EIB Network to play off on so many people's guilt and the fact they think they're committing sin out there simply by being alive and destroying the planet, so I came up with an idea. If Algore can not reduce his carbon footprint, if Algore will not have to reduce by an iota the amount of energy he uses, by simply buying carbon offsets, then why can't we expand the whole theory, the whole concept?
We here at EIB Network are examining the possibility of selling carbon offsets to the entire United States, the entire United States government -- and in the process of selling carbon offices to the entire government, the United States will not have to make one change, will not have to reduce any of its pollutants. It will not have to reduce any of its greenhouse gas emissions, will not have to reduce any of its energy use, because we are going to sell carbon offsets to the government for who knows how many billions they will pay, and then people all over the world will plant trees and do other things to allow us, the United States, not to have to reduce any of our greenhouse gases. It's a perfect way to exempt ourselves forever from Kyoto. If Gore and other individuals -- like Governor Schwarzenegger. He's registered his private jet out there with a company, and he doesn't have to reduce the amount of time he flies in a jet because some company out there is planting trees every time for every hour he flies, ostensibly.
Well, why can't we at EIB just do this for the whole country? Just sell carbon offsets for virtually everybody so that nobody in the country has to reduce anything. I mean if it works for one individual, why wouldn't it work for everybody? Why wouldn't it work for the country? Why don't all of us buy carbon offsets? I will sell them to you and to anybody else, and you can continue to make all of the energy use you want, without guilt and without fear. You pay us. It's going to be a nominal charge because, as you know, the greater the volume, the lower price has to be, sort of like taxes. The more taxpayers, the lower of rates have to be on everybody in order to get more money. So I will not charge exorbitant fees for people, when we sell the carbon offsets, and thereby the whole country will be exempt. (interruption)
What do you mean, Enron? What does the word "Enron" mean anything to me? What are you talking about? What's Enron got to do...? (interruption) I think this is a brilliant idea. This is a brilliant idea! (laughing) You know something? The whole thing is, I could get out of the radio business. In one day's worth of sales of carbon offsets for the whole country, I could be playing golf 24/7, thirty-six holes a day. (interruption) I don't plant the trees! I'm not going to do that. I'm going to let other people. I'll let Uganda do that. I will let South Africa do that. I'll let 'em do that in Bosnia, and if there's some companies in America that we feel are valid to invest in, fine. We'll let them plant the trees, too. The point is here, folks, that if you or I or Algore or Governor Schwarzenegger or anybody else can go out and simply invest money in the so-called carbon offset program and in the process, not have to reduce your energy usage at all -- if it's good for individuals, why can't we exempt the entire United States from this imbroglio by having everybody here be able to do this?
Think of the market that exists here. Think of the guilt that we could assuage, and think of the good that we could do for burgeoning Third World countries. There'll be all this investment money going to them, and all they have to do is plant trees. Just plant trees, or start up a company that says they're going to invest in pills that will make cows not expel methane when they expel. We're working on this. I probably should not have made this public, because now I've automatically created a bunch of competitors. Snerdley says, "You ever heard of Enron?" Yeah. So what's that mean? "Well, it's fraud. It's first-rate fraud." I don't care if it's fraud. It's already started. It's already happening out there. The business has been established. The carbon offset business is burgeoning.
