torquemonkey
Dedicated LVC Member
Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate
at which one can die .
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
Without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
Person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for
Anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars
And a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now The world is weird and people take
Prozac to make it normal.
THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and
terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of
Agriculture in charge of immigration
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate
at which one can die .
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
Without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
Person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for
Anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars
And a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now The world is weird and people take
Prozac to make it normal.
THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and
terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of
Agriculture in charge of immigration
