What The New Job-Lingo Means

[1wykdmk8]

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

 

[ekenkade]

that last'n went out with the 60's
i'm a trucker i don't have deal with half that $#!+
i'm glad as #e!! to not have to.

 

[pepperman]

:bowrofl: :bowrofl: :bowrofl:

 

[Conti94]

Whats sad is alot of places are actually like that.

 

[ekenkade]

our Raliegh -Durham shipping dock is that way, especially the first one. i hate that place, it is perpetual chaos there all the time!! losing entire pallets!!!, misloading trucks!!!!!, they once misplaced a FORKLIFT!!! how do you misplace an 8 foot tall, 6 feet wide, 7 feet long YELLOW and ORANGE forklift?!?!?!?!
i just think it's bad when a trucker has to go into the shipping dock and shout orders to keep things half way moving