Nah, you're a douche because of how you react to young kids with nice cars. I know a young (at the time) kid who bought his LS brand new. What do you have to say to him? Nothing, that's right.
You're also a douche because the "wahhh I'm old and make lots of money and those young whippersnappers shouldn't have what I have because I'm old damnit" tone of your post. Then I read that you're 30, and laugh my ass off. You couldn't have afforded a new LS when they came out, unless your parents paid for it.
Maybe you could get together with all the cranky old farts who own Lincolns and convince them to never sell their cars, you wouldn't want more Lincoln logos floating around for less than MSRP would you???