too big a ball is bad. bird loads are good cause it wont go through your walls AND the perp will go down but not be dead. you dont have to worry about murder charges
#4 Buck should not penetrate walls either. I do run it in a 2¾" shell from a 20ga, though. It is a better size for my wife, and honestly after having it I think I like 20ga better than 12ga for this, as it is just that much easier to be surgical with it, it is smaller, and there is less chance of blowing through something other than the target.
With the birdshot the intruder may not necessarily be neutralized. You can always shoot him again, obviously, but that is not my preferred approach or I would just use rock salt. I certainly understand where you are coming from, though. You would rather not kill them; I would rather not leave them alive to sue me.
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