hmm... Strange! Now, lets think... Is 5 qts the right amount? Are you waiting long enough after switching off to check the level? (enough time for the oil to drain back to sump) Are you checking it on level ground? Any oil on the stick at all? Have you checked that the dip stick tube is bolted up tight and hasnt lifted? Are you pushing the stick right down? I can't see there being a blockage. You could try sticking something else down there just to see if you are getting a reading or if there is indeed an obstruction. (stiff wire or a longer dipstick from another vehicle) I dont mean to insult your intelligence, just covering all the usual stuff that i would do. Weird! LOL.